kirktastic

It is 2009 and so far it is great since I’m in the middle of a four day weekend. I’ve been back in Austin for nearly a week. The weather is gorgeous. It actually is 70F already. I’m not looking forward to Monday when I have to return to work and the nice weather goes away. Coincidence? I think not.

Being on a long road trip gives you a lot of time to think. Last year I was very successful in getting my ass back into the gym and working out regularly. Sadly, some time over the summer I took a few days off which turned into about six months and I gained all of the weight I lost and packed on another 15 pounds. I’ve been working out and watching what I eat again since returning from my trip. I’ve gotten myself to an unhealthy state and really don’t like it so hopefully I can keep up this week of good work forever. That is the thing: it isn’t a diet or exercise program it is a lifestyle change I need to make.

The other day I was somewhat motivated by these shows about obesity in America on TLC. Although I’m fat, I’m not morbidly obese — or as some of these people featured in the show “super morbidly obese” bedbound and pushing 1,000lbs. There’s something more to their story than liking to eat 30,000 calories a day. It is a mental illness. But since these people are bound to their bed it isn’t like they’re making a run to Dairy Queen for a few gutbusters. No, they have people in their lives feeding them. Loved ones. What the documentaries completely didn’t talk about is how the families of these people were also fat. A 29 year old woman from Austin weighed in at 900lbs and her sister probably weighed in at 300lbs easy (on a tiny 5′1 frame) and she didn’t see that she’s heading down the same path. One person that did see light was the 13 year old daughter of the 29 year old woman. The girl was chunky when she was younger but she now is in good shape because she doesn’t want to end up like her mom. After getting the gastric bypass surgery the 29 year old woman died a few weeks later of heart failure. Imagine losing your mom because she ate herself to death. The whole series of shows were depressing. The bright side is at least I’m not that fucked up. But I am somewhat fucked up and need to change my ways before they change me.

So perhaps 2009 will go down as the year I got my shit together healthwise. The facts are simple: I feel better when I’m getting exercise and I’m eating better. But in the past something happens and I stop working out and then I start overeating. Last July it wasn’t an injury or illness. It wasn’t a decadent vacation. It wasn’t stress or a project at work. One morning I stop going to the gym. Then I’m having waffles for breakfast instead of a protein shake or egg white breakfast tacos.