kirktastic

I narrowly escaped death yesterday by a idiot douche valet parking attendent downtown. See, it looked like it was about to rain as the bus got downtown and rain means traffic since Texans can’t drive in the rain. I had to pee so I hopped off the bus to duck into Gingerman or Halcyon to use the bathroom and then meet the bus 20 minutes later. Dolly had other plans. As I crossed the street it started to sprinkle a bit. While I waited for the light to change to get across Guadalupe it started raining harder. But my bladder was telling me I had to find el baño pronto. As I was closing on Gingerman the sky opened up and water feel from the sky like I was under a waterfall. Gingerman looked closed so I ran toward Halcyon and it’s awning. In the bathroom I look in the mirror and I look like I fell into the lake with my clothes on.

I ordered a beer and watched the rain. Not sure how long I would be stranded I sat in the comfy chair admired the coeds and watched nature cool us down.

Only 15 minutes later it stopped as quickly as it started. I paid my tab and headed north on Lavaca to the bus stop at 6th street. I had to cross an alley but there was a deep stream of water blocking my way. As I looked to the way cross without getting my feet soaked the douchebag valet drives by splashing me and just missing by inches (ok maybe 18 inches but still). The splashing wasn’t as bad as what happened to Carrie Bradshaw during the opening credits of Sex and the City. But still. I may have been born and raised in the desert but I thought common courtesy implied pedestrians had the right of way especially when it is raining. Had I not had a bus to catch I would have beaten that toolbag down.

So I got to ride home on the fuller than usual bus all wet. But under dryer circumstances stopping in for a quick beer pit stop could be a pleasant way to kill time.

Today it supposed to rain a lot. Traffic is terrible due mostly to texans’ inability to drive in rain. Had it rained during the texas war of independece I think Santa Anna would won and Texas would still be part of Mexico. The US still probably would have been stuck with Bush as its president but he’d stayed in Connecticut and not have the fake Texas accent.

I actually found the umbrella I bought years ago in New York in the trunk of my car and put it in my bag this morning. I’ve never done that before. Ever. In my whole life. It just doesn’t rain enough and since I usually drive everywhere I don’t need to.

I have no idea if the umbrella actually will work. And like any other form of insurance I hope I won’t have to use it.