kirktastic

A few weeks ago Starbucks announced it was closing 600 stores and 12,000 people would get pink slips. To most, this wasn’t a huge surprise, Starbucks was growing pretty quickly and it seemed lately its real estate division had added places that may not have passed muster a few years ago.

What is odd is how my Google business news feed is picking up stories from across the country on the store closings. Starbucks released a list of all of the planned closings and now the feed has bazillions.

My favorite on my Google news homepage comes from the Seattle Times…

Starbucks closing 16 more stores than expected
To be precise, Starbucks is closing 616 stores by the end of March.

The company had said it would close 600 stores and released a list of planned closures on Thursday afternoon. Sharon Zackfia, an analyst at William Blair & Co., counted the stores and included the exact number — 616 — in a research report on Friday.

I love how it actually took someone to count up the total number on the list and to determine that the total on the list was 616 and not 600. This qualifies as analysis?

Other incredible analysis discovered that many stores are closing in California, Texas and Florida. These states happen to have a lot of people in them and accordingly many Starbucks. It shouldn’t be surprising that states with hundreds of Starbucks would lose dozens of stores. My town is losing two if its 70 Starbucks (neither of which are within 20 miles of my abode… the 5 Starbucks within 5 miles of my house spared the axe).

Some are rejoicing the evil corporate coffee company is having to cut back. It just isn’t hipster cool to go to Starbucks. Starbucks coffee sucks. Coffee isn’t supposed to cost $4. Damn yuppies. Blah blah blah. But 12,000 people are losing their jobs and losing their better-than-average pay and benefits. That part sucks. Help wanted signs are in the windows at the Starbucks I frequent so I’m sure that those two closing stores’ employees will get jobs at a Starbucks nearby.