kirktastic

OK. It is fucking hot outside. And I’m a boy that was born in the desert. But it is wet and humid. I drink liters of beer and water and never have to go to the bathroom.

It doesn’t feel like 110f. It feels like a sauna at 200f. I was thinking of going to see the temples but you need to wear long pants and a long sleeved shirt. I don’t think the Buddha would smile on me sweating all over his temples.

Last night was interesting. I met an Irishman [much harder to understand than a Thai with a bad accent]. He told me I cold not miss seeing the go-go shows at the infamous Nana Plaza. Cheap beer, cold AC and scads of Thai girls. I figure, why not. It isn’t like I’d see something like this at home, no? I was curious since the Thai are very modest and nudity is illegal. Even in strip clubs. It is a shopping mall of go-go and hostess bars on three floors. I find a pub called Big Mangos that has an outdoor deck overlooking the plaza and was mesmerized by the people watching. There must have been hundreds of girls reporting to work. My seat overlooked a shrine where the girls would stop briefly to give a silent prayer.

There were tons of farang men on the prowl. There were also many many ladyboys. You know girls that used to be boys. Some were quite stunning and I don’t know how many farang men go back to their room and are surprised. Or if they’re working out some issues. Whatever floats your boat.

Big Mango was a hostess bar, meaning there weren’t go-go dancers, but women in slinky red dresses available to talk to and buy drinks for. A girl named Kay took my drink order and sat down next to me. It was interesting to chat with her and no I did not “bar fine” her and take her home. We just talked. She laughed since I was sweating so much when I got there. She told me to go to the go-go shows and suggested a place across the plaza called Angel Witch that had the best show. Since it was still early I walked around a little. Most places had girls standing outside the doorway saying “handsome man” and “I love you” as I walked by. Of course I’m used to this since it happens everywhere I go. I found a place with air con called Rainbow and it was a trip. There was a stage and poles like in a strip bar, and at least 100 girls on the stages. Loud continuous techno music played as they danced in their cramped space on the page. Each girl had a number on her outfit. Assumingly one need only ask the waitress to get her for you. It was very surreal. I moved on to the Angel Witch for its show. This was a much smaller place with a similar stage. But there was a stage show with very strip tease numbers with synchronized dancing and some risque costumes. My favorite was an act with two girls. One wrapped in a towel ironing her sexy nurse outfit and the other on a chaise lounge putting on stockings. Again, no nudity but quite sexy. Because we all know nothing gets a man hotter than watching a woman doing housework.

Despite the tries of the many many girls and their tempting offers, I went home alone. It doesn’t appear Bangkok closes. But I was back and ready to sleep in my ice cold hotel room.

I haven’t seen any Americans since I got off the plane the other night at the airport. All the farang are Europeans. Nice to get away from those crazy Americans for a while. My hotel caters to a large Japanese population in addition to the farang so everything is in Japanese and English. Everyone is so nice and polite. I came down for breakfast after it closed and the man said no problem, the buffet closed but we make you whatever you want. In the US, they would have said fuck you. What a great country.

Tomorrow I leave the sweltering city and go to the sweltering beach. What a difference a month makes. This time last month I was in Moscow. Complaining about how cold it was. Now I complain over how hot it is? Will I ever be happy?