kirktastic

I finally won the fucking lottery!

OK, so I only won $2.00. But I doubled my money! And what would I have done with $275million anyway? I only play the lottery when the jackpot is in nine figures. I don’t want to mess with winning just $17million or some chump change like that. I only buy one ticket. And I only buy when I remember to. So in the past year, I’ve probably paid about $10 in lottery tickets in the past year or so. So this $2.00 winning gets me closer to breaking even.

I’m going to invest my winnings into two tix in Tuesday’s $340m drawing [that's $211 cash option, say the guvmit gets $84m of it, leaving me with just $127m to live on. Of course, when you have that kind of money you don't have to pay taxes thanks to our boy W in the White House].